Enlightened Perception

Of course we all have ideas about how we should be showing up to life and to ourselves. Many of these are born from our own experience with life and what we come to know as the norm. Certain norms are collectively shared while others are more personal and individually created, although, they do change as does our ability to always meet these norms or recognize their power and overall influence. Through the physical practice of yoga, the exploration of various postures on the mat, our body provides us with a vehicle to feel and explore some of these norms. These are imprinted, creating new pathways internally, that can be expressed externally in our physical bodies. Ultimately, the more we utilize the new pathways, change is created. This change then lends itself to the creation of a new personal norm, not just physically expressed but mentally and emotionally felt. At first this change may recieve ample attention and recognition, but usually this fades and the change becomes something mundane and consistently expected, the recognition and potential appreciation seems to escape.

So much of what we do become unrecognized norms, often it is not until we are injured that we can reconnect to a sense of appreciation for our bodies abilities. Dissapointment, pain, anger, confusion or weakness may also be part of the experience of injury, appreciation may take time to develop. Not too long ago I injured my back, I can not say the exact thing that caused the injury, I believe it to be a combination of factors. I furthered the injury by reinforcing my personal norms; regular and intense practice, without recognizing that my body was saying no, my norms of how far to go or how much to do were mental necessities that my body willingly completed at the cost of an injury. Once I accepted that I was injured I realized I had to back off, no more riding the bike, no more long and sweaty runs and also no more vigorous yoga. In order to better understand my injury, what made it better, what made it worse, I had to refrain from my usual routine and really begin to observe, one breath at a time supporting one slow footstep at a time. Through this process of accepting the injury and then exploring it I have learned how to move and be active in away that does not cause me pain but rather understands the health of my body. Most importantly I was able to see with clarity that my need to maintian my personal norms created and intensified my injury. Because I just came to expect certain things of myself, of my body, I didn't even think that maybe I was reinforcing a norm that no longer worked for me.

I think we are all affected by our own personal norms as well as those we adhere to collectively to form a more just society, but every now and again it is important to stop, and to question. Maybe taking a few days in observation, judgement aside, and then returning with new information. Have I been giving adequeate recognition to myself for all of the personal norms I have achieved? Is it time that maybe a certain norm needs alteration because it is no longer supporting my health mentally, physically and emotionally? Are these collective norms that we live by based in truth and does my participation aid in making this a more just place to live?

It can be hard to change some of our personal norms without falling into a place of self judgement. I remember when I was first experiencing the pain of my injury I had so much fear about being weak and losing my strength. Physical strengh comes and goes, so this was an opportunity to stregthen my mind and my capacity to re deifine certain words that are way more expansive and inclusive than I was allowing for myself. Really it is an amazing opportunity to live more freely by changing our own definitions of what is good or bad, desireable or not...

Thanks for taking the time to observe and question.

peace

Recognition: What norms have you created for yourself that you fail to recognize because they have become so much a part or your daily routine or experience?

Share the Road: Collective Consciousness

A short sharing from a world turned upside down:

The usual pedaling from place to place has been removed from my current reality though remains a fresh and sweet memory. Body happenings speak and I must listen, must really learn to listen. No more riding the bike. Sturdy strong legs still carry me from place to place, a changed pace. The occasional car ride is also offered to me, accepted with appreciation and thanks, guilt aside. In a recent ride in one of these protected vehicles, I saw myself refected back to me.

You know the driveways that enter right into the middle of the sidewalk? The ones walkers and bikers alike approach with a hint of caution for the not so cautious driver, or quite the contrary: with a sense of ownership, the driver should be the one to proceed cautiously. Feeling the satisfaction of being a front seat passenger, there was quite the night's chill that I was luxuriously avoiding and I had just bought my first neti pot and was eager to clear my nostrils, we began our exit from the dreaded parking garage. Familiar tunes filled the car, creating a world inside of a world as we crept our way out of the dark enclosed space into the city, lights flashing in all directions. Looking both ways, I out of my window, the driver doing the same, unspoken we both decided to proceed forward to get a better view, to determine our chances of safely entering into the stream of cars. This seemingly benign decision put us into the 'red' zone, blocking the perfect sidewalk path for those not in cars. No body likes to be in this position and often people ignore they have entered into it, avoiding eye contact, keeping a straight face even when met with confrontational eyes from those not encased in a hard shell. Well I didnt even consider, beyond trying to make the safest exit into traffic, the consequences of our subtle move forward, until my eyes met the approaching pedestrian. My immediate reaction, wave, smile and mouth a genuine "s-o-r-r-y". Done. Not received. What was received, by me, were dissapointed eyes appearing to be full of familiar annoyance. I too was familiar with this script, but my role had been swapped. I was no longer the one standing mid-step, walk or ride interupped by some thoughtless driver blocking my way because of their impatience and entitlement, I was that thoughtless driver and I did not feel the least bit thoughtless. Still caught in this moment, almost in disbelief, the moving vehicle made it's way into the shared lanes of traffic. Feeling as if that moment had been placed into slow motion, still lingering, experiencing the duality of being that person outside of the car trying to move forward with life, interrupted by the moving vehicle, while simultaneously being the one sitting there staring out the window at a disaponited face, my own reflection staring right back at me. This was it, this is what those 'share the road' signs really mean, sharing does not mean to take ownership of the space, but actually to share. Share the road with everyone, not just those most like you, no matter the mode of trasport, we are all going somewhere and trying to get somewhere, could we support eachother in this? Well in that moment I found some necessary re-definition because I was able to be the other person that I so often define as against me, having nothing shared. We were both just trying to get through, we all share this space yet are always devising ways or living inside existing structures that cause division and contenscious separation.

Collective Consciousness. I suggest now, to you, and to myself, to actively engage in living with a collective consciousness. Noticing the subtle ways in which we fuel this shared space with an unspoken dissonance because of perceived difference could allow for new found similarities. Let's create a space that is supportive and that recognizes we are all living in this space together, we have different passions and pains, shared struggles and joys, and are all trying to get somewhere or maybe just be where we are. The people we despise the most could be looking at us with the same judgement and dislike, the people we fail to sypathize with or allow to make mistakes could too be you or me, you never know until it happens and it could.

Life without Expectations. LIVE

I ask myself if this is possible, living without expectations, as I hear my guidance towards others echoeing yes, it is. It is. Maybe not in the form we'd expect or imagine, but in real life, it is. I guess I dont always live in reality, rather I stay confined to a well known and well travelled space: the mind. I think we all know this space very well, too well, often allowing it to drive the vehicle of the sacred self to places of scarcity and feared unknowns, far from the hearts space and free spirit. Predictably these places are not places of openness and inquiry, but rather, of judgement and restriction.

Our self expectations become a trap for denied success. When we place these jailed expectations on ourselves we ultimately have the ability to place them on others, creating unintented competition and distance and consequently a lack of solidarity. How would it feel to be in solidarity with the self? What does this mean? Well, Merriam-Webster defines solidarity as: unity that produces or is based on community of interests. Sometimes it is important to locate the roots; the word, solidarity, comes from the french, solidarite, meaning, "mutual responsibility". To me the idea of mutual responsibility involves the self, a direct relationship with the self, with what IS, how we are in this present space, how do we come to know and preceive this self of ours? Often times our perception is based on societal pressures and expectations oppressively mapping the right and desired way to be, the way things have been in the past which have either wounded us or leave us longing for their reoccurence and future hopes that we fear we may never reach.

All of these things may seem real, but they are out of our control, but what is in our control is inquiry; getting to know some of these places of discomfort or risidule pain we have not physically released from our body, examining the reality of the now to allow for what is happening so we can move into places we want or unknown places that are awaiting us. Breathe. By navigating this space, expectations on the table with an eraser at hand, there is more freedom to live as we are, by freeing this space up individually, we create a space in which others may do the same. Bell Hooks, a teacher that I bow to, though have never met, reminds us of the need for

"trasformation of the self, of relationships, so that we might be better able to act in a revolutionary manner, challenging and resisting domination, transforming the world outside the self."

So, this mutual responsibility rests in creating solidarity with the self in order to be in solidarity with others; mutual support. Now the more current definition can take active form, we can create communities of unity when we are open to knowing our own self so that we have space for that of others. This may be challenging, but with challenge comes change, new learning, new support. Sometimes our own self expectations are our greatest limitations, our greatest removal, our greatest distance from facing challenges from a place of directness and honesty rather than the easy and unthoughtful head space of chatter and misguided judgements. Let us learn and live the true meaning of solidarity, potentially opening ourselves and the communal space to the "unknown, the unfamiliar". Patanjali's second yoga sutra, thread, embodies: "yoga is to still the patterning of consciousness.

Make em' sweat!

Sweat we did...although the sun was not shinning, layers were still being removed to feel the refreshing tickle of the sprinkling water of the sky...a rainy day in seattle, specifically a sunday, the recipe book was turned open to "stay inside and veg out" and we even had all of the ingredients to satisfy this! As I frequently do, I improvised. Instead of staying inside, we headed outside, with a very precise plan of course: play basketball. Luckily up the street used to be home to some special kids and teachers alike, still is home to a hoop and court, but misses the playful and oh so necessary kids...why aren't they there anymore? The school was shut down, teachers and children removed: community interrupted. Where are those kids now? and their dedicated teachers?

I think the last time I played basketball, really played like with other people was in middle shcool, I made the first points of the game and then didnt touch the ball much after that. But this day was different, I touched every single spot on that ball and then some, turned it inside out! The ball didn't touch the hoop too many times, but it got passed, caught, drippled, checked, re bounded, thrown, chased- it was in motion, we were in motion, in our bodies, in the game. I felt so free and so powerful, I felt confident even though I made but 5 shots. The confidence came through just being out there and playing, making the choice to go outside and try something different, feeling my heart beat, not because I was forcing it to do so, but because I coudn't stop it from doing so; natural confidence, free from the ego...this freedom enabled me to disconnect from my mind and judgements and just play, the continual breath and movement being the guiding force...power and creativity were channelled through self and friends...community still exists here. I have appreciation for these courts, these stomping grounds and the energy that still remains...

Whats yoga got to do with it?

So much, endless amounts, that's the beauty. Recently a person I am close with, in seek of some spiritual and career guidance, went to an astrologer. In their time there, I dont really believe they discovered anything new about themself (besides witnessing the vasntess of astrology and its interplay with the formation of our constitutional selves), but what was received was permission. Seems simple, maybe even unnecessary, but I think so often we need an outside source to provide us with permission: permission that where we are is ok and that what we are doing is right, who we are is who we should be and possibly predetermined. We want reason for some of the confusion we, as humans, experience. We want an explanation for why we aren't on the same path as our peers, the same peers for whome we are able to provide permission and continual suppport while forgetting to include outselves. Why is it such a struggle to love and recognize the self, perfections and imperfections, as we would a friend or a lover? I think this represents a tramendous disconnect from the depths of the body while grasping to the thoughts and preceptions of the mind. The body too speaks, the body too holds deep wisdom which yoga can help to access.

Some of the advice of this particular astrologer was to take part in activities or processes to aid in connecting to the 'inner child' (a less constructed self) and to certain past experiences and emotions. I thought what better than intentionally practicing yoga? Emotions and experiences don't just disappear, they remain inside of us, in the body! Through yoga and asana we connect to the body with intention and awareness, connecting to the brains beyond the head. When we can begin to form our self perceptions through getting to know our bodies, possibly less judgement would exist, possibly we could find permission from within.

Loveable legs.....

Growing up I never remember hearing my elders or peers wishing for their bodies to become shorter or fatter, looser or softer and if I did it still came from the root place of disastisfaction, lacking and wanting to be something more desirebale, something different. I'm now reflecting more and more on those words and sentiments. An example to which I keep returning: I grew up hearing my sister wish for different legs, it became mundane. "Why are my legs so short? I have the shortest legs!" Compared to whom? "Why couldn't I just have long legs?" Maybe your genes wouldn't allow for that. "My thighs are so big they rub against each other" "She has such nice legs, long and thin" Well then she must be a good person, since long and thin somehow equal good, over all good, right? No! Yet somehow we are led to believe these very things and with out question we perpetuate them through language and practice. Individually we create a collective embodiment devauling our own self worth.

In terms of one's physical body it really is just a vessel, an important vessel, but not the determining factor of who we are; we don't choose or create our bodies yet they can still be a reflection of who we are as individuals, because of our own misconceptions and perception. We have come to accept a standard of beauty that does not include the vastness of our potential and of our difference. Sure, we can have an influence on our body. I hope that influence comes from a place of seeking health. Health that reflects a feeling not a look, health that comes from appreciation and compassion for the abilities and potentials we possess. For some of you lucky individuals the seemingly ubiquitous self destruction in terms of body image may be lacking, but maybe it shows up in some other learned self talk of not being good enough. What if you were to discover you are good enough, that the difference you've been striving for wouldn't provide satsifaction, it wouldn't actually change you or your perception. You are good enough in this very moment. Your body loves you and provides for you, can you show that same love to it? Our ideas about how we should look, how we should be keep us from actually being and discovering our full potentials...

From the begining...now!

You might be asking yourself, engage with what? The answers seem unlimited: with yourself, with others, your body, your breath, your community, your environment, your questions or controversies... yes the list is endless, but it must start somewhere. So I invite you to engage in this inquiry begining with the self, your very own self; a self that is sometimes shared, sometimes not, sometimes big, sometimes small, sometimes complex or maybe simple, yet none of these are mutually exclusive. We are not dual beings and do not need to live a life limited by duality or preconceived judgements about these labels. Can you engage with your multi dimesionality? There are many ways to do this and I think we all do it with out awareness, but what if we did it with awareness and possible intention?