A short sharing from a world turned upside down:
The usual pedaling from place to place has been removed from my current reality though remains a fresh and sweet memory. Body happenings speak and I must listen, must really learn to listen. No more riding the bike. Sturdy strong legs still carry me from place to place, a changed pace. The occasional car ride is also offered to me, accepted with appreciation and thanks, guilt aside. In a recent ride in one of these protected vehicles, I saw myself refected back to me.
You know the driveways that enter right into the middle of the sidewalk? The ones walkers and bikers alike approach with a hint of caution for the not so cautious driver, or quite the contrary: with a sense of ownership, the driver should be the one to proceed cautiously. Feeling the satisfaction of being a front seat passenger, there was quite the night's chill that I was luxuriously avoiding and I had just bought my first neti pot and was eager to clear my nostrils, we began our exit from the dreaded parking garage. Familiar tunes filled the car, creating a world inside of a world as we crept our way out of the dark enclosed space into the city, lights flashing in all directions. Looking both ways, I out of my window, the driver doing the same, unspoken we both decided to proceed forward to get a better view, to determine our chances of safely entering into the stream of cars. This seemingly benign decision put us into the 'red' zone, blocking the perfect sidewalk path for those not in cars. No body likes to be in this position and often people ignore they have entered into it, avoiding eye contact, keeping a straight face even when met with confrontational eyes from those not encased in a hard shell. Well I didnt even consider, beyond trying to make the safest exit into traffic, the consequences of our subtle move forward, until my eyes met the approaching pedestrian. My immediate reaction, wave, smile and mouth a genuine "s-o-r-r-y". Done. Not received. What was received, by me, were dissapointed eyes appearing to be full of familiar annoyance. I too was familiar with this script, but my role had been swapped. I was no longer the one standing mid-step, walk or ride interupped by some thoughtless driver blocking my way because of their impatience and entitlement, I was that thoughtless driver and I did not feel the least bit thoughtless. Still caught in this moment, almost in disbelief, the moving vehicle made it's way into the shared lanes of traffic. Feeling as if that moment had been placed into slow motion, still lingering, experiencing the duality of being that person outside of the car trying to move forward with life, interrupted by the moving vehicle, while simultaneously being the one sitting there staring out the window at a disaponited face, my own reflection staring right back at me. This was it, this is what those 'share the road' signs really mean, sharing does not mean to take ownership of the space, but actually to share. Share the road with everyone, not just those most like you, no matter the mode of trasport, we are all going somewhere and trying to get somewhere, could we support eachother in this? Well in that moment I found some necessary re-definition because I was able to be the other person that I so often define as against me, having nothing shared. We were both just trying to get through, we all share this space yet are always devising ways or living inside existing structures that cause division and contenscious separation.
Collective Consciousness. I suggest now, to you, and to myself, to actively engage in living with a collective consciousness. Noticing the subtle ways in which we fuel this shared space with an unspoken dissonance because of perceived difference could allow for new found similarities. Let's create a space that is supportive and that recognizes we are all living in this space together, we have different passions and pains, shared struggles and joys, and are all trying to get somewhere or maybe just be where we are. The people we despise the most could be looking at us with the same judgement and dislike, the people we fail to sypathize with or allow to make mistakes could too be you or me, you never know until it happens and it could.
